Internet Dating Folly

Beep! Email from Plenty of Fish dot com.

19 April

Hello Wonder,

I am an easy going person and I am here for a serious relationship. I would like to enjoy the life with a beautiful and cheerful woman who is loving and caring.

I saw your profile and was attracted to it. I don’t know about you, but to me, distance is a journey that should be covered.

I’d like to develop a friendship that will hopefully turn into something more meaningful and lasting. I hope that you are of the same frame of mind.

Simon T. Taylor

Interesting. He’s tall and fairly handsome.  Maybe I’ve got lucky.  I mean,  look at Mary what’s-her-name who married the prince of Denmark. Luck does happen.

His language is a bit odd, considering he’s a high-flying independent oil and gas consultant but he’s probably just flying through his emails too and not spending too much fuss on them.

Hello Lesley; My Wonder

I don’t really know how this is to work, but hey! What could be more important than a happy ending? Can anything make you happier in life than finding a love that knows no bounds.

I was born to a loving couple, an American from New York and a British woman. My father was an international business man. I studied in Lethridge, Alberta, Canada, where I got the first degree in Civil Engineering and then moved back to join Ma in the UK. My father had died and she was left alone. I met my wife and best friend in Paris. She was a fashion model.

I do rig constructions and renovations on bridges and have worked in many countries around the globe. The present project is my last in the field and I shall continue from my office while my men do the field ops. I really think I have gotten to this height because I embraced work in trying to get over the death of my wife.

I realise I can move on now. I’m currently in the UK and have recently acquired a property in Auckland where I plan to settle down.

Simon

All sounds plausible and he keeps emailing – seems comfortable with text, and wants me to know who he is. He’s not very good at answering questions, but then most guys on the net aren’t.

In my last email to him I wrote, ‘PS I turn 54 on Sunday – still love birthdays!’ He neglected to congratulate me and it would bother me except that he keeps constant contact which makes me think he’s just too busy to re-read each email.

He cares enough to let me know his progress on business deals and always asks how my day has been and what I’ve been doing. He asked also for an address to send me a friendship surprise so I gave him my box number.

I wish he’d answer my questions. He says he’s addicted to his email since he’s ‘met’ me, and that he’s becoming restful again. He wrote, “We have worked so hard and attained some wealth, but for what purpose?”

“Wealth means nothing if you have no best friend to share it with. All the millions are useless indeed. How much do we need to eat? How much do we need for shelter? How much do we need for daily fun? Excess and excess leads us to vanity. But for a few of us who value simplicity, we would do well in finding happiness.”

He’s taken his profile off the dating site now saying he wants to focus only on me, and he asks for my ideology.

Hello Simon,

Maybe there is something good ahead for us but I’m loath to jump in yet.  Just a bit of toe-wetting until we meet and see what really is there.  It’s lovely that you feel so keen you would remove your profile, but what if I’m nothing like the beautiful story you’re building for yourself?

My ideology of life will take many pages and I do not propose to produce those now for your warm ear.  But let us say loosely, that I see physicality as energy operating at varying frequencies.  A rock has a much slower frequency than that of a heart, or a thought.  Energy is stuff – the stuff of which the physical world, including us, is constituted.  Quantum physics now tells us the act of observation influences the particles being observed.  As humans with the capacity to transmit, receive, transmute, etc., we are creators, and that which we create is via the mould of our thoughts.  Our thoughts would change if we really gripped this concept.

And if you have trouble seeing the world as energy, take a look at a blank wall or into the blue of the sky and tell me what your eye detects.

Lesley

He hasn’t commented on my ideology…why then did he ask for it?

Hello Lesley; my wonder!

How are you today? Who are you?  A woman being a goddess; or a goddess pretending to be a woman? Whichever you are, you are doing something special to me.

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end. The inevitable truth is, if it is meant to be, our hearts will find each other when we meet.

Give love a chance to swallow you up.

Simon

He doesn’t answer questions yet he attempts to tilt me headlong into some sort of commitment when I have yet to meet him.  But he’s attractive; and apparently interested in me.

Hello Lesley,

How has your day been? Do you think you have listened to your heart? Listen to it and you will find out how much you can gain! I am just a man who wants my best friend with me. Someone I can look at and smile for no reason. Someone I can’t wait to get home to be with. Someone to hold in my arms and whisper in her ears; someone to run my fingers through her ears; someone who is never afraid of telling her deepest thoughts to me.

Hello Simon,

If you dare to run your fingers through my ears as you so gallantly propose, they shall encounter my divine brain, and become electrified.  You will not be able to extract them for the power coursing through them to your own brain, which I’m afraid to say, my beautiful, but mortal, Simon, you will not be able to withstand.  Do us both the favour of not running your fingers through my ears.

What do I think?  I think I’d like to meet this man and see how I feel.

Have I listened to my heart?  Yes, have you?  A folie a deux is not always wise, if ever.  I have a beautiful life which has taken much pain to establish. A partner would be a welcome addition, but it doesn’t have to be tomorrow.  Tomorrow I look for a friend, and let us see what friendship brings.

Lesley

He called last night by surprise.  I couldn’t understand him. He’s English I know, but I simply could not understand him and his voice didn’t match at all his face.  Perhaps it was because it was a mobile phone call.

Lesley, my Wonder,

I have a proposal for you this wonderful day. There is this woman I just met, and I could be scared about how she has gotten my attention so soon, but I would be stupid to submit to fears. She already has a piece that cannot be replaced of my heart. I am not known for fears. I know a journey of a thousand years starts with a single step. A man who wants to fly must at least learn to stand on his feet! I would love to take your hands. I am a man who gives nothing or everything. Once I have your hand, I can promise you forever. I know this is not going to be a kid walk. I know there are times we will argue in future. But I would teach you to know that even while we argue we would still be holding hands. Life is short, but we can make paradise of it. Your worries have become mine, but I do not know how you have done it. Coming across you was by chance, communicating with you was by choice, but then falling for you is beyond my control.

Hello Simon,

That was a beautiful letter.  I think I’ll print it off for when I need a soft smile.

My morning walk was buoyed by a smile.  The birds are ever joyful here, but this morning they were lit simultaneously by the rising sun and the setting full moon.  There is power in such things.

Lesley; my angel.

I don’t know what I have done that I deserve a second chance. I lost one and yet I found another angel. I really thank my God. I mean I ask for something good and he gives me the best.

Walking through a crowded street, I can still hear my own heartbeat. Please take me to your heart, to your soul, and show me that wonders can be true. Take my hands before I am too old. I could be with friends to have fun, but they don’t really comprehend. I don’t need too much talking; all I need is someone who makes me want to sing. And you do a great job of that.

In less than a few weeks I will hand over and come see you. Would you mind picking this young man up from the airport?

Hello Simon,

What a wonderfully romantic man you are. Let us hope that we like each other when we actually meet!

I hope that our friendship allows the natural mention of your wife.  I do not wish to carry your grief, but neither do I wish that she be forgotten or not mentioned for fear of causing offence.  When, at 27, I walked away from my four year old marriage and most adored husband for my own psychological well-being, it was a last resort, and although I was prepared for it to be final, I didn’t believe that it would be.  Unfortunately unbeknown to each of us, a third party was manipulating, and so it was the end.  My grief was planets wide and universes deep.  I stopped crying after eight months, on the outside.  One of the blisses of singledom is that you never have to worry about coping with that kind of grief again. One of the disadvantages of singledom is that no-one ever inspires the kind of love that could give rise to such grief.  I have made myself comfortable with that knowledge in a highly enjoyable self-directed lifestyle.

What?  You don’t need much talking.  Why then do you approach a woman?  We’re good for 50,000 words a day, and some response is required (broad grin).

No, I will not pick you up from the airport, young man.  If our friendship develops, you will never arrive to a destination near me without my warm arms to greet you, but this is your move, and I believe it important that you make it uncluttered by picturesque notions of romance.

The fog swirled around the house this morning as I went out under a still full-bellied moon for a walk.  A couple of kilometres away and on higher ground, the fog levelled out and the sun sparked off flowers and trees on pretty suburban streets. Everyone smiled at me and made pleasant comment about the day, the weather, the cloudless sky.  Or was that me smiling?

Lesley

Still he ignores my questions, and ploughs only forward in his romancing.  Well, if he arrives, I shall look forward to a coffee with him.  Lovely romancer but not a good communicator.  His ears are closed.

Good morning, master of sweetness,

You have an option on my heart, but yet no contract.  Why have you the option?  Because your words are sweet, and the intent they carry is borne out by your consistent attention.  How it is that your mother likes me is beyond my ken, except that I might guess you have spun your sweetness for her ear also, and arranged a description of me that would warm her need to know her son might find a place for his heart again.

The sun is not yet risen though it is light now.  I walked this mild Sunday morning with a light breeze.  Cocks crowed, dogs barked in the distance, silent dawn birds cut across the sky making for feeding grounds.  On the river the dark shape of a boat moved purposefully against the tide towards the sea, lifting ducks in their hundreds, all calling their distress.

Lesley

Still no answers for my questions but here’s yet another questionnaire.  Something weird is going on.  You don’t conduct romances with questionnaires, surely.

Good day Lesley,

How you doing My Love. I’m sorry this is coming to you late. I am taking a couple of days off the project due to it being near completion and I’ll be using the opportunity to fly down to Accra in Ghana in West Africa at 8am tomorrow for an urgent meeting with some precious stone and diamond miners. The flight time is 9hrs.

I have a business interest in this new project, because it will kick off my retirement plans. It is also a trial for me to see if I can get my jobs done without having to be there in person, hope you understand?

I’ll be flying back into Dubai on Sunday 9th of May subject to getting a return ticket once I land in Ghana.

You are my shining star. I know you will never fade. You will be my light to help me read the map of happiness! Please have a good day, and dear don’t over work yourself. Will send you an email once I get to Ghana.

I have also bought my ticket to Auckland; it’s for Friday 14th of May.  Let me know what your plans are for that day and where you would like for me to meet up with you.

Take proper care of you for me

Love You Loads…

Simon

Good day, Lesley,

My love, how are you doing? Thanks for your love and support, I just landed in Accra about an hour ago. The most terrible thing ever just happened to me. I got robbed at the airport as I was waiting for a taxi to take me to the hotel. It all happened so fast and I’m lucky to still be alive.

All the money I had brought with me ($23,650.00USD) and my credit cards, laptop and PDA phone have been stolen. All I have left is my passport and the suit I am wearing. I have filed a police report but they said they can’t guarantee anything, because it’s a regular occurence.

To make matters worse I came on a one-way ticket because the airline didn’t have any flights available for my desired return date, so was advised to get a return ticket with another airline from Ghana.

I am stranded at the airport and don’t know what to do or who else to contact but you. I also can’t go to the Hotel because my credit cards are gone.

I am using a self service computer at the airport to send this email.

Love you loads.

Simon

That’s terrible, Simon,

Stop your credit cards.  Get Nelson to arrange an air ticket and pay for a hotel until you get out.

Let me know how you get on.

Lesley

Lesley My Love,

How you doing? I have been able to locate a small guest house referred by the paramedics and some people at the airport. It’s owned by a British couple and costs about $310 per night.

The owner (Mr David Collins) agreed to allow me stay till I can come up with the money needed to foot the bills. He is holding my passport as collateral. The longer I wait the more the cost goes up.

I have also tried to contact my bank. All I could do via their website was to get a number to call to have my cards cancelled. My bank doesn’t have any branches here. I can’t gain access to my accounts due to them being protected with pass-codes that are on my laptop.

I need your assistance. I promise to refund any money given to me as soon as I can leave this country. I need you to kindly loan me some money so I can leave this country ASAP.

I am putting all my hope and trust in you to help me out.

Love

Simon