The choice of victimhood through blaming can be very subtle so it’s easy to fall into a state of victimhood as children when we don’t recognise that there are other options.
That leads to the habit of abdicating or abandoning personal responsibility.
I believe that the abdication of personal responsibility is probably one of the greatest diseases society faces today. It’s not my fault, is the great escape clause….especially when we can prove it.
Personal responsibility isn’t about what happens. It’s about how you handle what happens. It’s an attitude.
To accept personal responsibility is to accept everything just exactly as it is. That acceptance will cost you your victimhood which can be tough, because most of us get used to a stat of victimhood, no matter how subtle.
To say for instance, “I’m sorry I’m late, I got caught up in the traffic”, is an excuse, which abdicates personal responsibility and at the same time, makes us a victim, in this case, of the traffic.
To say, I’m late, or I’m sorry I’m late, accepts personal responsibility.
Most of us abdicate frequently. It’s ingrained in our society. After all, the traffic was heavy, wasn’t it, and we couldn’t do anything about it could we? We might have flashed our lights or tailgated, or even attempted to overtake, but still we were late. Only a statement of the fact, I’m late, registers personal responsibility.
Think in your own life of where you’ve made yourself a subtle victim. The clue is usually a sense of, it’s not my fault. Typically we make ourselves victims of things such as the weather, or the computer that has crashed, or the car that either won’t start or breaks down, or even the alarm clock. That’s a really common one.
I’ll come back to this theme.